Life is Worth Living

There was a time when I thought suicide was the only answer for me. I lost all hope, but I had a young son who needed me, so I set my plan aside for a later date. One day we climbed a high cliff in Newfoundland and the unthinkable happened. What was meant to be a leisure walk on the trails led to a horrendous moment in time. I felt driven to walk to the edge, with his little hand in mine. I hesitated as directly below were mounds of rock instead of the ocean…as I stood there in a daze…a voice startled me. I turned and saw my little boy’s face filled with fear, “You’re not going to jump are you mommy?” Suddenly I came back to my senses and cried as I realized what I was about to do….There I was a single mom two thousand miles away from home and just months before I believed I was about to live my dream with the man who said he would make it happen. But instead I was devastated as he left me stranded on my own.

~As a child, I was a daydreamer with a dream. I believed I would find my prince just like Cinderella found hers. The teachers said I had potential if I applied myself to my work but that was next to impossible. In Grade three I had a vision of my prince on a horse as I gazed out the classroom window and that was it, I was never the same again. As a teenager it didn’t take long for reality to set in and I realized my life was not a dream but a nightmare. At the age of twenty my heart was broken and left for trash. I turned to drugs and alcohol to ease the pain which led me down a dead-end road. One night while heavily intoxicated I took 48 sleeping pills and I was destined to die as I lay in a coma…But a miracle happened, and I survived thanks to my mom’s powerful faith in God and her prayers …

Throughout my life I had encountered two failed marriages and it seemed whenever I tried to make my dream come true, I was left with nothing but more pain and heartache. But to make a long story short I met someone who was different from the rest. I wondered if he could be the man, I searched for all my life. He is so kind and loving. He satisfies my every longing and desire. Because of him, my life has turned around completely. Our relationship today is greater than when we first met. My dream has come true and the more I get to know him the closer we become. Through him I see changes take place in my life I never thought possible. I am loved more than ever. He is my sweet inspiration and he rescued me from the dark road I walked. It has been twenty years since I’ve journeyed with him and what an adventure. He enlightens my life with new hope and laughter. Sweet peace flows like a river within my heart and soul. His name is Jesus Christ. Now I live to love Him and share with the world of my love for Him and what He has done for me. I can’t keep it to myself or be silent when it comes to Him, because He is more than the air that I breathe. He is the music to my soul and my very existence is because of Him alone. He rescued me from a life of pain.

I believe what God has done for me He can do for you. I also believe He has spared my life, so I can tell others of His amazing love and grace.

In September of 2018 my husband and I travelled to Newfoundland. What an experience, to go back twenty years later to the place where I was so close to death. It was an emotional time, but most rewarding as I met up with the family who rented me their home. Then we drove to the ocean shore near the cliff where I wanted to end my life. The wind and waves were fierce, but I ran out to the water and raised my hands and said, “I am free, Thank You Jesus, I am free.” How wonderful to experience another highlight of our trip when the local newspaper was interested in my story and published it on Thanksgiving weekend.

~Well my son remembers the day at the edge of the cliff, and he is now married with a beautiful wife and two sweet little girls and another one on the way this September. I am blessed! Now when I look back if there were no rocks, I wouldn’t have hesitated that day…but I’m so thankful God spared me. I would have missed out on so many blessings God has given me.

~I’ve lived my life my own way and all I found was pain, With dark clouds all around me teardrops poured like rain. As I lost all hope in living, I heard a voice beside me say, “My Love for you is endless, I will make a way” As years have passed, He kept His word He’s loved me all along. And proved to me He’s real in my heart He sings His song, this Gift of my sweet Savior, He’s my treasure deep within, I’ll endure the loss of all things in this world, so I can win. I truly don’t consider myself, to arriving at perfection, But I’ll follow after Jesus with my eyes in His direction, My mind it has forgotten, shattered dreams of yesterday And my heart shall reach for His, in the spirit every day I press towards the goal, for the prize of His high calling, And excel in His excellence, as His grace keeps me from falling,  In every step I take with the Spirit as my Guide, I’ve found my life’s worth living, with Jesus by my side.

~I now have a passion for people, especially those who walk the same road I once did. My goal is to share my story and pray every day for those who have lost all hope. If you feel lost and alone and contemplating suicide…I pray the Lord visits you in your darkest hour. May His Light shine in your heart and mind and may you accept His gift of salvation. He can turn your life around as He did mine and give you a reason to live beyond what you could ever imagine.

I posted this on my blog since some of you wanted to know more about me. I also wanted you all to know I have written my story titled “A Daydreamer with A Dream” Available on Amazon and tells of my two close encounters with death. Here is the link: www.amazon.com/dp/152108923X

It certainly would be an inspiration to those who have lost all hope. Love & Blessings, Lollita

*Note: I created a brochure of my testimony and hand it out wherever we go. Rev.12:11 personalized, I have conquered him ( the enemy ) by the blood of the Lamb and the word of my testimony.   Photograph taken in Newfoundland by my husband.